The Last Drop
by EtherealDreamCloud
Summary: Roger goes on a new vacation, hoping to get rid of himself from Woody. However, it is not so easy as it seems.
1. Psychiatrist appointment

**Credits: Original author is Dark_Obsidian (previously known as Реймен) - from chapter 1 to 6. Said chapters translated from Russian to English**

**Translator's notes: The author stopped writing after chapter 6 and even deleted the story for some reason. Aside the translation I made a few changes. I'll take over the story from chapter 7**

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Roger was sitting on his chair and was shaking like a leaf and was twitching nervously. Behind the overweight man approached his mother.

"Why're you shaking? You have a fever or something?" she asked unusually worried, because normally she would not care for anyone...even for her own son.

"Momma, I'm so sick and tired of this life. Because of Trickster I'm on the verge of freaking insanity. And because of his stupid freaking pranks I often get a freaking heart attack. I don't know where else to go..."

"Hmm...Make an appointment with a psychiatrist. They'll help you." then she added to her thoughts '...Maybe.'

Roger would normally act like a stubborn child, but in this case he nodded in agreement. He stands up from his chair and walked slowly to the door.

Meanwhile, Woody who heard everything this whole time chuckled maliciously. Having finished his coffee, the young man slipped on his jacket and ran to follow his neighbour behind. Luckily, Georgina did not notice him, otherwise Woody's devious plan would fail.  
He arrived early at the clinic before Roger. He donned on a fake mustache as a disguise. After a minute, he found the psychiatrist's office and began waiting for awhile. Fifteen minutes later, Roger showed up. This swelled out, fat, dense, grump barely went through. Once on the seat, he turned to Woody, not recognizing the prankster because of the silly yet classic disguise and the fact that Roger is as smart as a brick.

"Are you also for the psychiatrist?"

Woody did not reply, instead he merely nodded - he did not want be found out.  
Shortly, the office door opened and the doctor peered out. He was wearing a snowy white coat.

"Please, come on in!" the doctor said this to either of the two.

The prankster let his neighbour go on ahead, that way he will know what the doctor would prescribe for him. Roger got up and went forward, while his fatness makes squelching noises.  
The door closed behind the fat grump, and the young man could now calmly do his deeds. Taking off his fake mustache, he pulled out his yo-yo and started playing with it.  
This is what is going on in the office.

"So what is bothering you, Mr. Rottweiler? Tell me the cause of your suffering."

"My neighbour, Woody Trickster drove me so mad, I'm constantly exhausted. He ruined my vacation! And you may not even believe this but I was even stuck on some habitable island with him! On top of that, I became a victim of my own house! It was more than a nightmare I tell you!"

"I will check how traumatized your soul is..."

Woody listened. He was eager to know the result of the test.

"What could this old stump win? A Nobel prize?" he grinned sarcastically.

Then he heard the doctor asking his neighbour.

"What do you see here?"

"Trickster..." Roger replied, seeing the spots' outlines rather remind him of Woody's eyes.

"Well then, what do you see here?"

"Trickster..."

"Here?"

"Trickster..."

"How about here?"

"Trickster... Everywhere Trickster...everywhere...This whole world consists of Woody Trickster..."

Woody broke into hysterical laughter. He did not thought his neighbour is so dumb. He even dropped his yo-yo in a fit of laughter and his eyes slightly teared up. After he calmed down a little, he decided to pull himself together and trailed off. Picking up the yo-yo, he continued playing with it while he listens.

"What you need is a vacation. Not just any vacation. But a complete isolation from the world. I recommend you a vacation on a deserted island. It won't have a single soul. You won't find Mr. Trickster there, I guarantee you that! Buy a ticket for a steamship and sail to the island Mystery Plants. That is all I have to advice you. Take care and goodbye!"

Woody donned the fake mustache again, and pretended to read the ads on the wall.  
Roger went out of the office. His face was shining with happiness.

"Mister! I finally got rid of Trickster! Very soon, I'll finally rest!" he took Woody's hands and danced out of joy.

What an irony!

*Squelch!* *Squelch!* *Squelch!* Those were the sounds of Roger's fatness.  
Woody smiled. He cautiously and quietly freed his hands from his neighbour's. Roger danced all the way home whilst his young neighbour said to himself.

"Your undeserved peace is not going to last long, you bloodsucker..." with an evil smile combined with the mustache he looked a lot like a villain.


	2. Preparations

Woody came home and began to gather his things. It was very important not to forget anything. After all, when traveling he may need anything . Of course, besides food and clothes. Even food could be used as a weapon of mischief, so that he can make his neighbour feel bitter. He neatly packs the clothes, food and tools which he would use in his suitcase of dirty tricks – which is definitely why his surname is not just a pure coincidence. Woody went to take a bath.

Meantime, in Roger's house there was lot of racket, one might think a tornado has passed by. He took out his things from the shelves, cabinets and wardrobe and stuffed his suitcase and his bags forcefully. His mother was also packing all sorts of little things. Soon, somehow all the bags were collected even though a shirt's and trouser's sleeves were peeping out. The phone rang – it was Olga.

"Hello? Who the freaking Hell is calling?" he snapped after picking up as if he thought that it would have been Woody or anyone just as annoying to him.

"Roger, is that your way to talk? Where are your manners?" she yelled just as much when he reacted like that "It's me Olga! Are you going anywhere today?"

"Nope!" he replied "What makes you think..." he suddenly gets cut off when Georgina grabbed the phone from his hand.

"Hello, Olga! My son decided to go on some kind of island for vacation. He just wants to stay away from his obnoxious stupid hooligan of a neighbour from the Trickster residence. I forgot his name...Anyway, I hope that he could at least take a break from that maniac."

"Well then, Georgina. Meet us at the pier."

"Momma?! I wanted to swim alone! And that little kid of hers annoys me!"

"But to me their company is pleasant. This talk is over!"

In the interim, Woody got out of the bathroom and smiled at himself in the mirror.

"Handsome, you look just photogenic! The camera will look at you as a real wonder of the world!" he always loved his own appearance.

His mobile phone rang...barely having the time to put the towel neatly, he energetically strode into the hall. Answering the phone, he welcomed the caller with a happy tone.

"Hello! Trickster residence!"

"Hey Woody! Found a new idea for our show?" it was obviously director Joe.

"Yeah, Rottweiler will go to a deserted island - for three months. You can shoot a few seasons of his adventures. I even know what would amuse the audience"

Woody picked up a comb and a bit of hair-gel and began combing his brown hair.

"Perfect! But we will get into the ship unnoticed, disguised as ordinary passengers. And you...Your task is to camouflage yourself so that the stupid oaf won't notice even a thing."

"Don't worry. Everything will be like eating a pancake."

It was true - Woody rarely ever gets caught. Because he was as cunning as a herd of foxes.

He hung up, the fellow continued preparing. However, he was interrupted again by the doorbell ringing. He had time to put on his shirt, but not enough to put on trousers, the doorbell rang again.

'Interesting, who could it be at this hour? Does someone need me?' he thought while heading for the door.

After opening the door, Woody froze in fear - behind the door stood his neighbour.

"Now listen here, you freaking parasite!" he grabbed Woody by his neck "You better freaking stay at home and not pull any joke or anything like that!" and screamed at the top of his lungs while the frail prankster was trying break off "If I come back to find my house in ruins, I'll strangle you to death! Is that clear? Then I'll bury you alive!"

Woody nodded, and the grump lets him go. With a satisfied look, he hurried back home. And poor Woody, rubs his damaged neck.

'I'll strangle you to death? Then I'll bury you alive?' he questioned his words in his head and chuckled them and at his stupidity.

Then he gets dressed, gathered his luggage and followed him.


	3. Discreet break-in

Roger called a taxi, while he had a suitcase for a suitcase, Woody slowly moved to the car. The taxi driver did not notice him.  
The prankster unzipped the suitcase and slipped deep among the things. After all, compared to his neighbour he is light. He even had bring some wafers, so that he would not starve on the way. Fastening from inside the suitcase, he was prepared to depart. Through the thick clothing, he heard the taxi driver loading things in the trunk, then felt the ground has disappeared.

"This suitcase is heavy!" said the driver struggling until he put it in the trunk.

Everything was finally ready. Roger and his mother, whose cruelty was not inferior to his son (and Woody feared her just as much as him), got into the car. The driver stepped on the gas pedal and the shabby taxi broke off. With this kind of luck, the road had a terrible traffic jam - the stoplights were not working.

"Well, this is too much! Our steamship could sail at any minute!" Georgina whacked the driver's head with her purse.

"Slow down, momma! You're going to kill him!" her son grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Don't stick your nose into my business, boy!" she grabbed his nape and started to beat his hand on the soft spot.

Woody, lying in the suitcase, in which he was placed completely free, except for the fact that on all sides were placed smelly clothes. He quietly chuckled at his "neighbourly" jerk. In the meantime, the car finally began working. The trip took about 30 minutes, after the end of it the taxi driver took out the baggages. Roger fobbed him money, and had slept off a little during the travel.  
On the pier Olga and her son Timmy were already there. This woman had always attracted Roger, but now he was not very happy to see her. He looked up at the sky as if he was looking at the clouds.

"Georgina! Hello, glad to see you!"

"Hi, Olga! How's it going!" she smiled "Fathead, say hello to Olga!"

Roger stayed quiet until he got a slap from his mother, then stammered a "Hi." under his breath.

Woody, would burst out laughing, but then he would get caught by the Rottweilers and not get on board - such a thing should not happen. The only way in is the emergency room. The steamship gave the signal for departure, and Roger began to lift the baggages up the ladder, almost the last one was the one in which Woody is lying there. Ready to sail, Roger, his mother and Olga with her son rushed to get on board. The ladder was removed, the skirting closed and the ship set sail. Finally on board, each of them chose their own cabin. A separate fourth cabin, used for bags and belongings. Woody slowly unzipped the suitcase and cautiously looked around. There was nobody around, he headed for the door. After opening the door, he was again on guard. The neighbor was nowhere to be seen, and Georgina is admiring the ocean. Olga sunbathes on a chaise lounge, and little Timmy is playing with a toy airplane.  
When he went to the fifth cabin, Woody saw the whole camera crew.

"Woody, the last two times you ran into your neighbor, things did not ended well. However, things might be different. We unfortunately, can't shoot the show unnoticed. You know that well, which is why we give you this miniature digital camera." the director handed him a silver box "With the help of it, you should be able to record the plot of our show without problem. We will set it on air after that, got it?

Woody nodded, he always understands everything right the first time.

'Looks like I'll have a bit more work than before.' he thought to himself 'Heh...as long as I'm not the only one laughing at the fatso's mysery then I'm fine with it.'


	4. Japanese ice cream

Woody went to shoot some scenes, before that of course he had to be disguised. Coming out of the cabin, he found that his neighbour is sunbathing and eating pistachio ice cream. A little on across the deck, he found a pile of rolls and next to them was a jar of...wasabi! Oh, what a stroke of luck he has today!

'Ice cream? More like fire cream.' Woody spitefully giggled.

Picking up a teaspoon, he gets a little pungent green mass and cooled it down a bit with ice which seemed to be crushed enough to look like snow. That turned into some kind of ice cream. He took out a bag of frozen wasabi and squeezed all the sauce in a container filled with pistachio ice cream and stirred. Woody hurried quietly to get out...and he succeeded. Now lying on a chaise lounge next to his cabin, he closely watched the scene. Now he is going to eat that infernal ice cream! Wait a minute...what's this? The blob of fat fell asleep! But instead his mother went to get the ice cream! As soon as the first spoon full of it went into her mouth, a heart-rending cry pierced air. Georgina ran around the deck, screaming.

"Water! Water!"

The fellow laughed quietly, whilst shooting the whole scene with the camera. But when she stopped running around, she immediately went to yell at her son.

"Freak! What did I raised you for?! So you could do this to me by mixing frozen wasabi?" with these words she started spanking him just like a bad parent would to a child who behaved badly.

Woody, having shot the first successful scene, I turned off the camera. However, it was needed again. When the grump went to his cabin, he accidentally slipped and to not fall off, he grabbed Olga. That was just the beginning! Olga started chasing him, but he struggled running away from her and his fat belly squelching. That was definitely a prankster's jackpot. He got two pieces of soap from a locker, put them on one of the ends of the deck, poured water and he opened the skirting. Classic jokes are the best! Whilst Roger is running from Olga, he stepped on a piece of soap, slipped and fell overboard. Olga fell afterwards. Woody bursts out laughing.

"Oh, Lord. That was just classic!" he turned off the camera and went to his cabin so he could have his rest.


	5. Restless night

Roger could not sleep. After he first ran from his mother, and then from Olga, horrifying thoughts popped into his head. He suspected that Woody somewhere nearby. When he finally fell asleep, he started having a dream where they are sailing and suddenly from the depths of the ocean emerges the Kraken, on the back of it someone familiar was sitting on it. That someone is none other Woody! His blue eyes were glowing sinisterly and looked like as if he were soulless.

"You made a mockery out of me enough, Rottweiler! So prepare to meet Death himself!" with these words he whispered something to the Kraken and the monster grabbed the steamship torn it into pieces.

Roger woke up in cold sweat. Going outside just in case, he became convinced that this is just a bad dream. There was no Woody, and furthermore...there was no Kraken. Nevertheless, the fat man decided to apologize to Woody for all of the caused trouble.

"After I go back, I'll go to him" he decided after drinking some glass of water, but a flashback in his head appeared for a few seconds showing his suffering from Woody's tricks. Then murmured to himself "Pfft! As if! I'd rather shoot myself"

Woody is also being tormented by a nightmare. He dreamed that Roger now knows of his presence. The eyes of his neighbour were bloodshot and he grabbed his throat and began strangling him. Woody would scream begging for his life to be spared if he had enough strength. Roger smothered him until Woody's pulse stopped. This nightmare was so horrible, he woke up breathing heavily. Thank goodness, it was only a bad dream. Well, just in case he decided to make sure. No, the neighbour was in his cabin snoring loudly - obviously he was sleeping, so everything is in order.

"I guess I have to apologize to Rottweiler. I won't do it, though. He was first to pick on me and bullying me. Even **the last drop** of my patience had ran out long ago!Also, my other neighbours depend on me to make him suffer for their sake and I want vengeance too. So why should I?" 

Then he thought he could check his mobile phone, which was set to silent mode. No missed calls or unread texts, although he decides to write a "Goodnight, beautiful" to Shelly. With thoughts about of her, his nightmares now will be replaced with sweet dreams.

In the meantime, Georgina woke up because Timmy was pulling a strap of her bra.

"What is it?"

"Mrs. Rottweiler, why're all our stuff in another room?" the little boy asked.

"Because there is so much space in each room." she replied.

Olga went into the cabin.

"There you are! I've been looking for you, Timmy! Sorry about that, Georgina. My son's very curious." she smiled.

"Don't worry, girl. I'm not angry at him."

This night had been full of surprises.

When the sun flooded with its gold light on the deck of the ship, Woody woke up, brushed his teeth and went out. No one around, maybe he could enjoy the sun a little. Having sunglasses on, he laid down on a chaise lounge to sunbathe. And he remembered about one important circumstance. His hair! He has to change it for now without cutting it. Otherwise, the stinker would immediately find out about everything. After ruffling his own hair, he continued to sunbathe.


	6. Lovely morning

Next morning, Woody woke up to the sounds of seagulls. These marine rogues loved to spoil all of the mood with their heart-rending howls. To Woody however, they were wonderful sounds. After washing and dressing, he checked his mobile phone for a minute. There was an unread message from Shelly.

"Thank you. You're so sweet *blush* But I know there's a new series of the show, so please be safe and unharmed..." is what she wrote.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine" he replied and send it to her.

It was enough to put him into even better mood. He went out to view the ocean. And here he felt an unimaginable stench. Having a look under his feet, he found out it is not anything other than...herring! Well, well, well!

"Seagulls love fish. It means that I'm going to arrange a 'magic' trick involving fish. But what?" then he began to think for a minute "That's it! I've made my decision!" Woody's glance fell on a hook hanging next to the door of Roger's cabin.

Having accurately turned the valve, the fellow sneaks in the cabin and pulled out a suit from there. After stuffing fish in his pockets, he hung the suit on a visible place. When he was done with the prank, he washed himself from the slime and lay down to sunbathe. Soon the stinker will wake up and...it will be hilarious! That is one of the best jokes ever! So far, all it was needed was to watch his reaction. The seagulls tore the suit to pieces in an attempt to get the fish.  
Half an hour later Roger woke up and screamed, not having found clothes on the bed. He ran out of the cabin and then stumbled across the costume - it all was smeared with bird's poop, and tattered. Woody directed the camera at him. Roger cussed under his breath, but puts it on anyway.

He went to get chaise lounges, and Woody had arranged him a dirty trick - not a coincidence that his surname is Trickster. When the neighbor passed him by with a chaise lounge (he does not see him because his view is blocked from it). The prankster squeezed in his hand an adjustable wrench. One lounge is ready, another is ready and the third one is ready.  
The fathead went to have breakfast whilst the prankster got off the lounge and so he could loosen the nut enough to hold only light weight, any unfortunate vacationer would fall down. Woody came up with a brilliant idea. He pulled out of his pocket a few pins and put them on the chaise lounges. After that, he created a water path, which was soaped fully, and a bar of soap left at the edge of the deck. Having weakened the latch, closing the skirting. Four pranks at once? He is simply a comedy genius!  
Now he has to wait for the victim. He only left Olga's lounge untouched - she treated him normally and never mocked him, after all.

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**Translator's notes: This is where the original author stopped. Like I said, I'll continue the story from chapter 7 and on.**


End file.
